Blood and Steel
by redlovefire22
Summary: In a AU version of Earth Kagome struggles to regain her world.
1. Burning

Alright, this is a AU, very AU. The world is this modern slash feudal world. Yokai and human societies co-exist. Where weapon technology is cutting edge but old weapons still play a big part. Things like transportation are still very primitive. Medical technology is still somewhat modern but relies more on the feudal herbs and powers of yokai and holy healing. In all, I basically made this world up as I went to fit my story's needs, great thing about AU. Hehe, enjoy.

Thanks to mle for all the beat work not possible without you.

Screams, blood, tears, those are the only memories Kagome had of that night. Had it not been for her personal guard Kagome and her brother surly would have died. They where well away from the remains of her home. She stood atop the hilltop watching as her childhood home burned. Kagome was no fool she knew almost all those who remained were more than likely dead.

Fuck him. That bastard Naraku would surely pay for this injustice one day, Kagome cursed to herself.

Her kimono was covered in dirt and blood. She turned back to face Sango,tending to her younger brother. At sixteen, Kagome was just coming into her own but her brother, at 12, was much less an adult than herself.

"How does he fair?"

"He is out cold my Lady, but I see no major injuries." Sango turned to face her lady. It had been Sango's skill and a bit of luck granted from the kami that had gotten them out.

"Good as long as Sota lives Naraku cannot make a real claim to the land, not without, my brother's consent or death."

"Yes, but he is little more than a boy. Not a leader." Sango moved to rest Sota against Kirara.

"That I know. We should head north." Kagome's face was once again turned to the burning flames.

"To your Uncle's estate, do you think he will take you in?"

"I know he will. He is a man of honor and family." Kagome moved away her kimono to check the blaster strapped to her thigh- it still had a few rounds left. If that didn't stop her opponent a well placed holy arrow would. Kagome then climbed upon the fire neko, belonging to Sango, and held out her hands as her brother was placed into her arms. Yes, he was simply unconscious. It might be better for the boy if he didn't remember the horrid scenes of what they had just come from. Sango climbed behind Kagome and Sota, and they headed north. Kagome wanted to, just once more, glance behind but she refused to. The next time she would look at her home would be when her bother held Naraku's head as a trophy atop the ruins.

It was a hard flight through the night to reach Kagome's uncle's. Sota was still out and Kagome had started to use a bit of her holy powers in an attempt to heal him. Kagome was still rather untrained in her powers. They seemed to be last on the list of things to be trained on as a princess- her role in life was to get married and provide a good arrangement for her family. Her eyes went to the steel gates of her uncle's estate. The fire cat landed. Sango dismounted first and took Sota. Sango spotted the guard from the tower, and pointed them out to Kagome.

"Who are you, and what is your business here?" One of the guards shouted from the tower.

"It is I, Lady Higurasha Kagome. I come with my younger brother, Lord Sota, and my personal guard, the slayer Sango. Our estate has been attacked by Naraku and we seek relief within my uncle's walls."

It didn't take long for Kagome and her party to be quickly ushered in the gates.

"Sango stay with Sota." Her guard nodded her head as she went with the healers. Kagome looked at the guard who had opened the gate. "Take me to my uncle."

"Lady, please you have wounds yourself!"

"Are you deaf? I said take me to my uncle immediately."

"Yes." The young guard quickly bowed. But it didn't take long, as Kagome looked up to see her uncle quickly marching to her.

"My Kamis, Kagome what happen?"

Kagome moved across the open courtyard to her uncle, bowing respectfully as she could manage in her tired, ragged state. "My dear uncle, we were attacked by Naraku."

"Who is left?"

"As far as I know, only my brother, myself, and my guard Sango made it out by the sure graces of the Kami."

"Then my brother…" his words trailed off with the thought.

"Yes, I saw his fall as we escaped." Kagome was holding back the tears. She needed to be strong right now but it was hard. How could everything she had known and loved be gone in a few, short hours? Finally, Kagome's hand went to brush the tear away. She then felt strong arms wrap around her. She collapsed into those arms, burying her head into her uncle's chest, and cried. Everything let loose at once.

Finally, she pulled herself away.

"My dear niece, you need to get yourself clean and your wounds tended to. We will talk in the morning. The good thing is you and your brother survived."

"But what if..."

"Do not worry. It takes time to move any army. We have until morning."

This time Kagome allowed herself to be taken by the three servants. She followed them blindly, going though the movements like a zombie. The servants brought her to the bathhouse where Kagome hesitated. She looked down at her bloody clothing. How much of this was her own blood, and how much of it where that of her friends, family and even enemies? She wanted to cling to it, to have it as a banner.

Finally, she slipped it off and demanded, "Save it!"

"My Lady I doubt this could even be cleaned, and if that, to mend it would be near to impossible."

"Did I say I wanted that? No, it to stay the way it is."

The servant backed off slightly. The cold stare that Kagome gave them told the message all should stay clear. She was not to be messed with at the moment. The servants took the kimono as Kagome stepped forward and down into the bath. It was warm fed by a natural spring and much nicer than the artificial heaters. Instantly, the water eased her tired muscles.

One of the servants came to help her wash but Kagome spoke. "Leave." She could hear the words of hesitation forming on their tongues.

"I do not need help, I'm no babe. Leave me now." This time Kagome only heard the shuffling of feet as she was left alone in the bathhouse. She had no idea how long she was in there when her she heard the screen move.

"Did you not understand the first time? I require none of your assistance." She simply wished to left alone. Alone with her thoughts. Alone with her memories. Alone in her pain.

"I'm sorry my Lady."

"Sango, I didn't realize please stay it was you. Come and bathe with me."

"Yes, my Lady."

"Sango cut the 'my Lady'. We're alone."

A smile crept across Sango's face. She had been worried about her friend. She remembered her own memories of when her village had been attacked. She was still unsure the culprit, at least her Lady and friend knew those responsible. Yes, of course it had been a swarm of yokai that had brought down her village but Sango had her own thoughts, something had to be behind their attack and she wanted to know who was the one that pulled the strings. Her village was only now starting to rebuild itself. Those who survived had either been away, or like herself and her own younger brother, hidden very well by the adults. It had been shortly after that when Sango became Kagome's guard.

Sango and her brother both where haunted by memories and each choose a different path. Her brother had set out to find the one responsible. Sango just left and hired herself to the first disaster she came to. That had been Kagome. She had been 13 at the time and Kagome 10, but the two bonded instantly. Kagome's father had wanted someone low-profile for his daughter, and no one would suspect a young female such as herself to be so deadly. It had taken but one attempt on Kagome's life that word spread about princess's protector.

"Is my brother alright?"

"Yes, he actually woke and was speaking with your uncle when I left to check on you."

"Speaking to Uncle? What more could he need? I told him everything and he cut me off. Yet he talks to my brother who has just woken up?" Kagome arms went up to wrap around her chest, as a deep scowl formed across her brow.

"Kagome, he probably figured it was better for you."

"Better for me how, Sango, because I'm female? Tell me, who was it that carried my brother? Us!" As she spoke her pitch steadily increased as she pointed now at her friend.

"I know that, and he saw that, but it is our curse as women."

Kagome shook her head, "I wish to know why." Very few females held tittles, men simply thought women where either too weak or too stupid to own and run land. Hell, it had been the reason her father had been able to get land. Her grandfather had only had her mother, and wished not to pass on the land to a female. So when her father married her mother, Grandfather had adopted him as his son and heir. It wasn't right and Kagome knew changing the way men thought in this world would be hard. It was the work of dedicated women that would not back down. Kagome also knew those women who held titles faced many onslaughts as men saw them as easy targets. Shaking her head she would never understand why, who was it that defended the home when men were at war? Women that's who! Yet men still continued to believe their daughters were to become wives and bear sons. Kagome knew she was living in a time of change as she saw the yokai females, and some humans, were proving their worth as leaders. But they fought tooth and nail for it.

Her eyes turned to watch her bodyguard sink into the water. Sango was in much of the same mess, but Kagome could see the old battle scars. Some had come with Kagome's protection others Sango had brought with her. Kagome knew Sango's story and worried about her friend. Not many watched two of their homes burn in less than five years.

"Kagome, I understand, but we all do are best with what we are born in to."

"Maybe that's not good enough for me."

Kagome and Sango continued to talk of things that were and things that would be. They both came to the conclusion that tomorrow might bring them face to face with what they both wished to never acknowledge but for tonight they would be friends and allies. During the bath, Kagome broke down again. This was not like with her uncle. This was an opening of the flood gate of rage and sorrow that Kagome could only share with a friend. She was not ashamed and not trying to be strong now. It was Sango who finally helped Kagome out of the water and back to her strong exterior. Sango helped to dress her, comb her hair and led her to bed. It was also Sango who watched over her in her sleep and nightmares.


	2. Is it over?

Thank you mle on Dokuga for being my beta.

Kagome awoke to a pounding headache and a body that refused to obey any commands given to it. Light flittered into her room and Kagome placed an arm over her eyes. Damn stupid sun. Did not the kami or the world care? No, they would go about as if last night never happened. The sun shone, birds chirped and she could tell outside it was generally merry. Oh, how she wished for the rain, the clouds, the thunder. The world could end at the moment as far as she was concerned. Finally, Kagome willed her body to sit up. It was painful. She suspected more than likely her ribs where bruised along with countless other places.

"Awake now." Kagome turned her head to look over at Sango. She was dressed in her slayer clothes and armor. Inspecting the armor and clothes Kagome noticed how clean they where, and a question came to her mind.

"Sango did you sleep at all?"

"No, but don't worry I'm fine. One night without sleep won't affect me at all."

"You should have slept." Kagome chided.

"No, my Lady, you need me, so I remained awake."

"I needed you?" Her head dipped down as she pondered.

"My Lady do not trouble yourself on the subject too much. There are things that needed to be attended to last night and today."

Kagome forced herself to stand. She wondered if sleep had been the best for her, she felt worse than when she had fallen asleep. It seemed her whole body was afire. Looking down at herself Kagome started to try and straighten the wrinkles on her kimono.

"There are fresh ones in the trunk. I can call someone if you wish." Sango lifted Hiraikotsu to its usual place across her back as she pointed Kagome to the chest.

Kagome was about to say that she would only need Sango's help but hesitated. Had Sango not done enough for her?

"Yes please Sango, I doubt the way I feel I could even begin to tie a proper knot or put on even one of the layers needed."

Her guard nodded and left the room.

Alone for a moment, Kagome went to the window. The cherry trees where in full bloom. She and Mama where going to go out among their cherry trees today to relax. She wondered if any of the trees where left or if they had been burnt too. Vision of last night flashed across Kagome's brain. Blood. So much blood and screams. An image of one of her servants diving in front of a sword to protect her sent Kagome reeling. She could still see the sword running straight though the girl's chest. Sango pulled Kagome's arm to move. Kagome had wanted to stay to help, but she also knew she had to get to her brother and get out. Once again hot tears streamed down her face.

Finally, a sound interrupted her thoughts.

"Lady Kagome?"

Kagome turned to face a young woman, dressed in the simple, blue kimono of a simple handmaid. "Are you alright, my Lady?"

"Yes." She paused, "Yes, I'm fine."

"Shall I help you get dressed then, my Lady?"

Kagome nodded her head, and moved so the servant could begin her work. "Your name?"

"Mai."

Kagome nodded her head. It was always easier to address, even the ones who served you, by names. It was less confusing that way. Servants were also people and despite her birth compared to theirs, some respect was deserved.

Mai helped Kagome out of the kimono she had worn last night. As it came off of her body Kagome felt a slight chill. Despite the coming of spring and the sun, the air was still cold to the naked flesh.

"Are these alright?" Mai held up a three kimono set. The first one was a simple green silk with nothing all that great about it. The second was a brilliant lavender, wonderfully embroidered with cherry blossoms. The last one, for the outer layer, was white and also embroidered with much the same designs as the second. Kagome nodded her head. It actually did not matter to her how she looked, as long as she was clothed. She was itching to speak with not only her uncle but her brother. She wanted to hear the plans on what was going to be done about the terrible injustice that had befallen her and her family.

Mai helped Kagome to place the kimonos before tying them with a pink obi. Kagome's head turned to the screen that was opening and watched as Sango stepped back into the room.

"If you're ready Kagome, I think we should talk to your uncle and bother."

Kagome frowned. She did not like the tone that had come out of her friend. She had heard that tone before and it usually meant there was bad news.

"Sango" Kagome's brows furrowed. She hoped Sango would give her more details on what was upsetting her.

"My Lady, if you're dressed we should go." Sango turned to leave and Kagome quickly caught up to her. Kagome would not pry. She knew her bodyguard was not one to spread anything, even the truth, unnecessarily. They walked down the halls and finally to a room that Kagome was sure, by the looks, was her uncle's study. There, sitting by a table, was her brother and uncle. Once again, she had a bad feeling. Something in her gut knew something was wrong. She bowed to her uncle and her brother as her uncle motioned for her to sit down.

"It is good to see you awake, Sister." Sota smiled, but only a half smile.

Alright what was going on? She wanted to know and know now.

"Kagome."

She moved to look at her uncle.

"I know you and your brother live on the outskirts of the kingdom, so I doubt word has gotten to you of what has happened in the west, especially with the attack to your estate."

"No I have not heard, but what has this got to do with Naraku and our estate?"

As she spoke her uncle placed a hand on her shoulder to calm her. "Please Kagome, understand."

She was ready to explode. Was he about to just treat her like any dumb female? She had been schooled and educated. Father had been a little forward in his thinking and allowed Kagome to study war alongside her brother.

"The Western capital has been attacked by Ryukotsusei and the Western Lord is dead."

"What?" Kagome's hand went to her mouth. The western Lord dead? No wonder Naruku had decided to attack now. With that much turmoil, gaining a few extra bits of land would be easy.

Her uncle continued, "I know from information gained from before the attack of your estate that Naruku's forces are greater than my own. If it weren't for the current turmoil in the west, we could have called on their forces to help us but now all forces have been called back to the capital. The new Lord is having trouble with the transfer to his power, and as when any Lord dies there are those who are challenging his claim. Your area is an outlining area, where yes, some forces could be spared but at what cost? The new lord, from all information I have gained, is more interested in gaining control of the center of his lands ."

No. Uncle could not be saying this! She did not want to hear this. "Sota no, you do not agree, do you? Are you going to give up your rightful claim, without even trying to reach the West? You assume he can't be bothered? Why?"

"Sister, please, should I allow Uncle's estate to be wiped out as well? By the time we get a hold of some of the Western's force, Naraku could be here Kagome." Sota put his head down before starring back into his sister's eyes. "We can't be sure the Western Lord would not be bothered, but as Uncle said, most troops have been called back. Naraku would be here before we could mount a proper defense. How many, in that time, should die for revenge?"

"No Sota not revenge. Honor!"

Sota stood, he understood his sister. She had always been a force but she had to know her place in this world. "Enough! You think I do this lightly? I would do as much as you but we cannot. You know as well as I know the world is not a fair place to live. I cannot sacrifice others like that, and if you could then how are you my sister?"

Kagome backed down. The words stung. She looked straight at her brother. "I understand." Was it over? Her whole life, everything that she had? No. Kagome made a silent promise. If she had to scale the very gates of Hell to reach him, she would get Naraku one day.

"Uncle, then what of me and my brother?" She knew if her brother conceded they would be landless. Yes, they still had their bloodlines but that wasn't worth much.

"I will take you both in. You are the children of my dear brother. I could do nothing less. Sota has already decided to fight in my army and become a vassal when he is ready for some land I have; and you, Kagome, are to become your cousin, Kikyo's lady in waiting.

Kagome nodded her head. There could be worse fates in life. Truth be told, she did not know her cousin all that well but they where family. It couldn't be that bad.

"And what of Sango?"

"Sango saved both you and your brother and I have heard of her skill. She is welcome to keep in her service to you as long as she takes to protecting my daughter as well."

Kagome nodded her head. They where all asuming and thinking small. They could take a chance, they had enough time to get the weak, young and old out, time to mount a proper fight. Curse it all! Why not contact the Western Lord instead of just assuming, due to some turmoil, the new lord would be fine having a chunk of his land given up. In truth, he most likely would never know 'til many years after the fact. While her uncle and her own estate where under the Western territory it was more like a loose federation then an empire. The Western Lord acted like a giant force to help protect the boarders and keep fighting among lower Lords to a minimum. .

"My dear uncle I thank you for your kindness you have shown both Sota and myself, and now I wish to be excused."

"Yes dear. Why don't you go find my daughter? You should get to know each other better. I will give you a room of your own next to hers."

"Thank you." She bowed and she left the study. Sango was behind her. It was Mai who was waiting outside the study for them. "My lady, I can take you anywhere you wish."

Kagome nodded her head. "I wish to see the Lady Kikyo."

"Aye my Lady, she taking her morning meal right now, I..."

"Do not interrupt her then."

"My Lady, I can take you to the gardens. The Lady Kikyo often goes there in the morning."

"That would be acceptable." Better, Kagome thought. She wanted to vent to Sango first. She followed as Mai led them to the gardens.

"You may leave now."

Mai nodded and left Sango with Kirara, and Kagome out there.

Kagome moved forward to one of the blossoming cherry trees. "We were to go out in the orchard today."

"I know my Lady, are you going to be alright?"

Kagome nodded her head. "I have to be, don't I?"

Sango watched her friend move aimlessly through the garden.

"I understand, Sango, why they made that choice but the choice doesn't seem right." She had only been to the estate a few times, but she remembered where one place was and that was the family shrine.

"Sango how long will you stay?"

"For a while, my Lady, but..."

"You want to find you brother?"

"Yes, after last night I remembered how little I have left, but I will not leave you either."

"It will be alright. I will be alright when you choose to go."

Making her way to the shrine, Kagome felt the power there. Her latent miko abilities flared. Moving closer to the shrine, she looked at the names of family members gone. She knew her uncle would soon etch her father's and mother's names into this shrine but for now, even without their name she would burn incense and honor their spirits. Silently, she prayed to them for strength and courage, and vowed to make them proud of her.

Please review it would put a smile on my face and I have a very pretty smile. :)


	3. Western Front

Thanks so much to mle on Dokuga for being my beta.

Sesshomaru walked through the woods outside the camp. He was the new Western Lord but it had not come without a price. He had battled along the southern front, but Ryukotsusei's force had done the unforeseen and come in from the sea and had been able to seize the capital. His sire had battled his way back to the capital but it had cost him. Sesshomaru stopped and leaned against a tree.

It had been when his sire fell that events went astray.

Succession was a simple matter. He was first born, he should be the new lord, but there had been a snag. It seemed another army, supposedly backing his younger brother, claimed that Inuyasha would be the new lord. Sesshomaru had not given up his birth right. He had already backed down from taking Tetsusaiga but his title too? No. In the end, it had all been a rouse. Someone had pulled some strings. Too bad Sesshomaru thought being rid of Inuyasha would not have been that terrible an idea. He was all set to meet his brother in battle, and would have killed him if the whelp had not opened his mouth. Inuyasha had asked why the hell he was attacking him and things soon unraveled from there.

It was all a rouse to bring confusion. Someone had wanted the brothers to fight, but why? By the time Sesshomaru had gotten back to the capital there had been five different camps jockeying for power. He had just finished chasing down one of the traitorous fractions, and knew that leaving just one traitor could bring his downfall in the end. He was also after the ringleader. He wanted to know who had orchestrated this invasion. There were too many details that just didn't fit. There was a mastermind and he was sure as hell to find it.

Sesshomaru went to feel where his arm had once been. He had lost it in his rage over the news of his sire's death and word of Inuyasha's ploy. He lost his cool, calculating demeanor and allowed himself to attack in pure ferocity and revenge. By the time he was finished a whole field was layered in bloodied bodies.

His arm had not been lost though the damage was severe. Sesshomaru did not have the time to heal the nerves and tissue. The arm would hang as a useless weight, so he had cut it off. He would grow one back eventually and he was such a good solider that one arm would never affect him.

That did not change the fact the wound was quite painful. This is why he was away from camp. He would let no one, especially his younger half brother, see his pain. He was exhausted and still he knew that while the capital was secured militarily it was nowhere near politically secured. And the amount of headaches he would encounter! No, he didn't even want to begin thinking of that. It was then his sharp ears heard a commotion coming his way.

"Get back here you fucking, little brat."

Out of the branches came a small, human child. She was filthy and carried an apple close to her chest. Behind her came two of his soldiers, a human male and a lizard demon.

"You will pay for stealing from the army." It was the lizard solider that grasped her and was ready to strike her. They paid no attention to who was around them.

"Enough drop the child."

Both men straighten up. They knew that tone, and what it meant.

"Lord Sesshomaru, this child is a thief. She is only getting what is coming to her."

"Do you question me?" His brows furrowed as he glared at the two men.

"No Lord, but..."

"But what, solider? You are chasing down a child not even half your size for an apple. Are the rations that low, that one apple deserves this?" The lizard guard had finally released his grip on the child and she fell to the ground with a loud thump. She looked back at the two and then to the powerful figure who had obviously stopped them. The child decided her best bet was being with him, and she quickly ran to hide behind the tall figure.

"My Lord." It was the human who spoke this time. "Should we allow every camp rat to steal from us just because they're a child?"

"Enough, I do not need to explain myself. The child is young and a female. Your actions use more force than needed and if the supplies had been guarded better, she could not have taken it. I have had enough of you." The meaning was clear to both of them and they knew another word could mean their very lives. Both of them slunk back the way they came leaving the lord with the small child.

Sesshomaru looked down behind him. The girl was cowering and holding the apple for her dear life. The child looked like she had not eaten in days and smelled like she hadn't bathed in years. Camp rat, he hated that term. It was applied to the orphans that attached themselves to armies. Most where young boys and they often found work tending to different personnel, but rarely there was a female. They most often took to scraping the remains of camp or in this little one's case stealing.

"You shouldn't have stolen. They were in their rights to punish you." He wasn't going to let the child believe because he had intervened that she could continue.

The little girl nodded. She was still shaking but something about the man in front of her told her she didn't need to be scared. She looked down at her apple. It was a rather big one and she had been proud of getting it. Then she looked at him and gave him a crooked smile.

The lord shook his head. Did she not understand? She had yet to talk so maybe she was dumb? No, he didn't think that. The child's eyes shined too brightly and it appeared she comprehended.

"Do you have a name?"

Her name? Was he really asking her name? She couldn't believe it. Her smile became bigger. And she went to speak but it seemed her words where still trapped. It was then she took her finger to the dirt. The child traced her name. She was not educated and only knew the characters for her name. In truth, knowing how to spell her name was more than most females. Education was expensive and if a family decided to teach any child it would not be a female.

"Rin." He spoke softly. Why did he even care? She was nothing more than an orphan and a thief at that. No not a thief, she only stole because she most likely had no other choice. A thief stole for greed. He should go back to the camp. He had been away too long and he was sure there would be some urgent matter that no one but himself could take care off. Turning to leave, he heard the girl behind him. She was following him. In his right mind he should turn her around. What did he need with a child following him? But her smile had been so bright when she had first smiled and now over his shoulder he could still see her smiling. The days were dark right now and an innocent smile would do some good.

The girl fell in step behind him 'til they reached the camp and it was there he began to smell her fear.

"Rin if I were to allow something to happen to you, would you think it would be now?" He turned his head to look over his shoulder at her and watched as the little girl shook her head and built up her resolve. She had finished the apple as they walked. The girl's face was now a sticky, dirty mess but she still held her chin high. She fell back into step behind him through the camp and to his tent.

He was surprised there was no one waiting for him. Not even his squawking retainer was to be seen. He moved to sit down at a metal table, and looked to Rin. The little girl gawked in awe. Sesshomaru flipped a switch on the table bringing up a hologram and a little squeak from the child. Eying her he wasn't surprised. She more than likely had never seen something like this. Technology, much the same as education, was reserved for those in power and this child obviously had never been exposed. Once again he could smell a bit a fear mixed with a remote amount of curiosity.

Rin moved forward. She wanted to look closer, and her eyes were filled with wonder.

"Rin this is a map of Japan."

Rin's eyes were as big as saucers as she studied it and to his surprise a little word came from her mouth. He had though her mute before. She had not even been able to say her name but this brought forth a word. To be honest he didn't even believe she knew she had spoken.

"Magic."

"No, it is not magic." Her curiosity was refreshing and a distraction. He was about to speak more when his retainer came in babbling about something.

"Lord Sesshomaru. I received news." But then the little imp stopped. "What are you doing in the Lord's chamber, you little camp rat? Please, my Lord, I shall deal with this nuisance for you."

"Jaken enough, I brought her in here."

"Lord Sesshomaru, this is just a filthy camp rat."

The lord looked to the girl her smile was gone, and that distressed him for some unknown reason. "Enough, this is Rin, and who I choose to allow in is none of your concern." Sesshomaru's deep golden eyes pierced his retainer, Jaken should know better than to question his lord. He tried to debate why he kept the annoying toad. Loyalty was the main reason. Loyalty was something that could not be found often, and Jaken was loyal to a fault.

"Sorry Lord Sesshomaru." The imp stared at the child, who had gotten her smile back from being defended by such a powerful man.

Sesshomaru looked at the map again, but one thing was distracting him and that was the smell of the child. She needed a bath.

"Jaken take the child and find a respectful camp follower to bathe and dress her." He could almost see the words of protest forming on Jaken's beak, until a death look from his master told him if he valued having his head, he would shut up.

Jaken moved to the child and started to push at her but she stood still. She didn't want to leave her protector.

"Go Rin, Jaken will bring you back."

The little girl nodded. She didn't like the little, green yokai but she didn't want to make Sesshomaru mad. Rin left along with Jaken who was mumbling more than one complaint under his breath.

Sesshomaru stared back at the map. He had just gotten word of the Higurashi estate. He was not thrilled with the result. The young lord of the land and his sister were the only survivors and the young lord had agreed to give up his claim. This would mean those lands would belong to the East and that did not sit well with him. There was little he could do at the moment. He knew the amount of force needed to take back the territory and if he were to do that, he would have to keep troops there to protect it. Not to mention, it would be fighting an eastern lord which could become a war with the East. No, all he could do was spare a few troops so the older Higurashi Lord remained stable and protected.

"Damn," he breathed under his breath. There was something not adding up. He was sure the East had done something to enact all this. It had been from the East that word of his brother's supposed uprising came. No, he didn't want to give up land to Naraku. That name was gaining power. It seemed the Eastern Lord would die childless and Naraku was in a position to take power. Naraku taking land was most likely a calculated moved to gain support.

Sesshomaru's fingers went to his brows. Sometimes a limb needed to be sacrificed to save the body.


	4. Lessons

By the way I have forgot to mention I don't own Inuyasha. Thanks again Mle on Dokuga for your great job as a beta your awesome. Please review, it makes me a happy girl.

Sesshomaru's hand was still to his brow. He had been analyzing the whole situation too deeply. His ears tuned in on a sound. It seemed Jaken had accomplished his task, much to the toad's dismay. All of a sudden, Rin came bouncing back into the tent. Someone had managed to find her a clean kosode at least. She now wore a simple blue one with a brown obi. It was a size too big for her meager frame and the material was cheap but it would do.

Rin turned to face him, it was oblivious she was proud of the kosode. She smiled, displaying her change of clothes. Sesshomaru nodded at her. His evening meal had been brought to him and he had yet to start eating.

"My Lord, the child has been cleaned. Now the information I have for you, Sir."

"Go ahead Jaken." His eyes watched Rin she had moved over to the table, eying the food. He waited. He wished to see what she would do and did not offer her any.

"The coast had been completely secured."

"Hn."

"The intriguing bit of information is some of the ships used where most certainly of Eastern make and design."

"Hn." If he had his suspicions before now he was sure of it, there was a mastermind to this whole affair.

"My Lord, do you plan on addressing the East about their involvement? Should I prepare a message?"

"No Jaken."

"Lord, if they were involved, do you not wish to find out why?"

"Jaken, just keep the East's involvement to yourself. Now is not the time to wage a war with an exhausted army and other lords vying for my head." It pained him much to say this, but it was the truth. Even with the death of their leader the Southern armies where still trying to pick off land. Most of the frontier lords where hoarding soldiers in fear of Western collapse.

Sesshomaru was sure the toad would keep talking. He had already fought too much on the matter and did not wish to continue discussing it. "Jaken, you're dismissed." He made sure to turn his eyes towards Jaken, willing him to just leave.

Jaken looked at his Lord and bowed before retreating from the tent.

Sesshomaru's attention now turned back to Rin, who was standing next to him. The child was so small. He was sitting and yet she was still a full head or so shorter and the large clothing emphasized the fact that she had little to no meat on her.

"Are you hungry Rin?"

Her face turned to him. He waited and wondered if she had regained anymore of her voice. His life with her would be much easier if she spoke. War and poverty had a way of psychologically affecting some, and her being young and a female only added to this.

"Yes, Lord Ses..." Her words trailed. She had heard Jaken say his name but she couldn't form it.

"Sesshomaru."

"Lord Sesshomaru. Rin is hungry."

He was about to chastise the girl. While speaking in third person could demonstrate one's standing, Rin was simply using it because of a lack of practice or understanding of how to speak. The girl would need much work if he was going to have her around him. For now he would not correct this child. He placed a small bowl of rice in front of her, along with a pair of chopsticks. Many of the foods on the table where quite rich and he greatly doubted her body could handle such fare. Surveying other foods, he added to her rice a bit of fish and a pear.

Rin didn't even acknowledge the chopsticks. She acted as if the food would disappear if she did not devour it. She went to eat with her hands when they were caught up in his.

"Rin if you are to stay with me, you'll eat with manners."

Rin looked up at him and nodded, and he released her hands. She fumbled with the chopsticks. It had been some time since she had used a pair. Finally, getting some rice she brought it to her mouth looking at Sesshomaru for approval. He gave her a simple nod and she continued to eat.

"Rin how old are you?"

Rin stopped eating as she started to think, "Rin was five summers when my family was attacked, and it has been two summers Rin has been on her own."

So she is only seven? Sesshomaru thought as he dished his own plate. That is quite young to be alone and still be alive. Seeing the girl in a new light, Sesshomaru decided to eat.

The tent was quiet. No one else had seen fit to interrupt him. Inspecting Rin, he noticed she continued to fumble with her chopsticks. He slid a spoon over to her, which she quickly grasped. Sesshomaru only picked at the food, once again contemplating his decisions about the war.

He was interrupted by a rather loud yawn, reminding him Rin would need a place to sleep. At first he thought of making her a bed out of a few pillows, but decided Jaken could sleep somewhere else tonight. He watched as she crept into the Jaken's bed and he turned to leave. Sesshomaru needed to inspect the camp. Looking back he saw fear in her eyes. "Sleep Rin. I will return."

She nodded her head and snuggled down into the covers.

Leaving the tent, Sesshomaru saw Jaken stumble around starting to prepare the soldiers for departure. Once morning light appeared, Sesshomaru had decided his best course of action was to head back to the capital.

The inspections went well. He stepped on Jaken twice and managed to throw only three rocks at the imp. Surely he could find someone as loyal but not as annoying. The process would definitely be troublesome and abusing the toad released a certain amount of stress.

Most of the camp had settled down for the night. A hundred different fires burnt with soldiers gathered around each one. The older and more experienced tended to just sit around reliving battles, while the young found entrainment in gambling and alcohol. He knew some men found their ways to the female camp followers and he shook his head in disdain. Sesshomaru should have them stay away from camp; but for every whore, there was a wife or daughter who helped keep the army going.

Moving the flap of his tent, he saw Rin was still curled up sleeping.

"What is that little camp..." Jaken had no time to finish his sentence as he found himself squashed under the boot of his master. Three imp stomps and three rocks to the head- might as well make it an even day.

"Jaken, Rin," Sesshomaru made sure to emphasize her name, "is sleeping there. You may find somewhere else to lie."

Jaken knew he had drawn his master's fury. "Yes, Milord, might I ask how long you plan on keeping the child?"

Sesshomaru paused before replying. He had somewhat admitted to himself that the child would stay with him, but to admit it aloud would secure the decision.

"I am taking her on as my ward. She is to be treated as such."

Jaken was furious. She was nothing but a filthy camp rat! His esteemed Lord, the master on the field who he had watched kill thousands was taking in a stray human child. One look at his master and Jaken decided that he had pushed his luck enough for one day. "Yes, Milord." He bowed. "I shall find myself another bed."

Sesshomaru went to undo the obi that helped hold his armor up before going to its latches. He slipped it off and placed it in the corner. Inspecting the sleeping child once more Sesshomaru laid down.

He had no idea how long he had been asleep when he was awoken by something nudging him. Slowly he opened his eyes. The tent was quite dark but he knew from the smell who was nudging at him.

Sitting up, he looked down at her. "Rin go back to your own bed."

"Lord Sesshomaru, Rin had a bad dream. Scared."

A dream? Had the girl woken him for a dream? As his eyes adjusted to the light, he could see the little tears forming in the girl's eyes. Rin started to snuggle herself into his Mokomoko. Right now he needed to get up and send her back to bed. Sesshomaru was going to but a closer look showed him the child was already asleep. Sighing to himself he laid back down, allowing Rin to snuggle closer to him.

Morning brought a flurry of activity. Soldiers who had drunk too much now complained too much. Old soldiers were complaining about their bones. Of course, there was the regular shouting that occurred as one solider accused another of not taking care of his half of the tent. Rin stood behind her protector. She had seen the army move before. This was often the time she could find the best food. This time, Rin was well feed and had no desire to lose Sesshomaru from her sight. She kept in step right behind him and beside Jaken until she saw someone.

It was a human boy about thirteen-years-old. He had been the one who found her and told her about the scraps that could be had in camp. He had found work from one of the soldiers, Lord Inuyasha, if Rin remembered correctly. Kohaku was the boy's name. He was an orphan like herself. Unlike so many of the other boys at camp he was nice and tried to protect and look after her. Rin knew that Kohaku ate regularly but wondered if he had nearly the food she got now. When she thought the lord was not looking she had slipped a pear into her kosode .

Kohaku was busy, like the other boys, tearing down the camp. In truth, he was a skilled solider but he was still too young to be allowed in the ranks. She looked over at Lord Sesshomaru talking with someone.

Rin slipped away, "Hey Kohaku"

"Rin, what are you doing inside the camp and you talk?" The boy looked worried for his friend. This was not the place to be.

"Yeah, it is alright. I'm here with Lord Sesshomaru."

Kohaku eyes widened. She was telling the truth! Then again, he saw no reason for the child to lie. Rin had obviously been cleaned up, but the Western Lord?

"I have something for you." Rin pulled the pear from her kosode .

"Rin you shouldn't." Unknown to her the lord had been watching as she walked towards Kohaku.

"No she shouldn't."

Rin turned. Oops. She had been caught. Kohaku felt it was a good time to leave.

"Lord Sesshomaru…" Rin went to tell a story of how Kohaku had been there for her. Rin knew Kohaku had saved some of his meal for her. He also made sure that there was a dry place for her to sleep in the rain.

"Rin! You little..." started Jaken before he was interrupted by Sesshomaru.

"Silence, Jaken. We set forth soon. Go see if the generals are ready to move."

"Yes, Milord." Jaken bowed before running off to do his master's work.

Rin was really scared. She knew the lord had told her once about stealing. Rin also worried that he would turn her away or punish her. She looked to Sesshomaru. Had she just screwed up her best shot in life?

"I will not tolerate a thief."

"Rin is sorry, my Lord, but..."

"Silence Rin, you will not steal." He watched the little tears forming in her eyes.

"Will my Lord turn Rin out?"

"No."

"Thank you, Lord Sesshomaru!" Rin went to hand the pear to him but he stopped her.

"Rin, you must ask." He was giving her a way out, but knew he was also teaching her.

"May Rin please have the pear to give to Kohaku?" A little smile crept across her face as she watched her lord nod. Turning quickly on her feet Rin set out in the direction Kohaku had gone.

"So it is true. You have taken in a kid. If I didn't see it with my own eyes I'd never believe it." Inuyasha teased as he approached his older brother.

Sesshomaru turned to look at his younger brother. "Hn."

"So cold, Sesshomaru." He went to stand next to his brother.

"You will address me with respect, Whelp."

"Yeah, sure." Inuyasha laughed. He could go a good round with his brother right now- get his blood flowing.

"Are you and the army ready to head east?"

"That's why I'm here to check in. I'm going to head out before the rest of camp starts moving. You just want me to keep the Higurasha Hayato estate secure?"

"If you're that simple minded."

"No, I know. You want me to try to figure out if Naraku is behind this whole mess. I tell you Brother, if I can prove it his head will be on a plate before word gets to you."

"You will do nothing of the sort. We cannot afford another war."

"Keh. Sure. Whatever you say."

"Just do as you're instructed, Inuyasha." Turning away from his brother, Sesshomaru moved towards his steed. There were no goodbyes among the brothers- too much resentment. Sesshomaru could never get past the fact that his father had courted and mated another woman while his mother had not been dead a year. The common court rumor was that his father had already been courting the woman during his mother's sickness.

Making his way to his dragon steed, he watched Rin come running back. How did one child find so much dirt that quickly? At least when he got back to the capital he could get the child a nurse. He knew who he would call on. Atsuko was an older badger demon, the perfect nurse. She had been his father's as well as his own and Inuyasha's. Badger demons where often chosen for the fierceness that they protected their charges with. He also knew, while this was a human child, the way she acted would most likely give anyone who he choose to take care of her one good run.

He checked the harness of his steed.

"Is that yours Lord Sesshomaru?" Rin had come bouncing back.

He nodded his head.

"What are their names?" She had moved over to them and beside Sesshomaru. Her head was tilted to the side as she inspected the dragon.

"They do not require one."

"Then how does my Lord call them?" Everything had a name Rin thought, did her Lord just say dragon? How would he know one from another?

He almost wished she was mute again. Did she have to ask this many questions? Before he could answer another question bounded from her lips.

"Can Rin name them?"

He nodded. It would hurt nothing for the child to name them.

Rin laughed and smiled "Alright." Walking up to them she pointed to each. "You are Ah." Then Rin pointed to the next, "And you are Un."

"My Lord," Jaken came bumbling to him, "we are ready to move on your orders." With a nod of his master's head, Jaken cried out for the army to move.

"Get up on Ah-Un, Rin."

Nodding her head, she climbed up and onto the saddle as the army moved out.


	5. Lady

I don't own Inuyasha. Once again mle on dokuga thanks for your wonderful beta work. Also please, pretty please review it makes me fell good if I get reviews.

Kagome and Kikyo walked through the halls of the shiro with Sango instep behind them. It had been nine days since Kagome's arrival and she had fallen into her role as Kikyo's lady in waiting. The wounds Kagome had still ran deep and her melancholy mood could be felt by all.

"You're still upset, Cousin." Kikyo looked to Kagome. Kikyo would be a fool to think Kagome was not angrier of her home's destruction and her loved ones' demise. Kikyo wanted to know if there was more to Kagome's musings. It would serve Kikyo no good if Kagome were in such a state. She wanted to figure her cousin out.

"Yes, Lady Kikyo." Kagome eyes where focused on the door ahead as they continued on towards the gardens.

"Dear cousin, tell me what angers you more, the loss of your home and parents or my father and your brother's decision." Stepping outside, Kikyo took a few steps forward before looking back at Kagome.

"Does it make a difference which upsets me more?" Kagome took her own steps in front of Kikyo. She watched as Kikyo nodded her head to a bench within the garden.

"Yes, I worry for you. To be angry for your home is natural but your want for revenge, the talk." Kikyo shook her head and stopped to take Kagome hand, forcing Kagome to turn and look at Kikyo, "Well, Kagome, that talk it just plain troublesome and also foolish to be heard form a lady's mouth, especially one of your heritage." Kikyo shook her head. "You must stop and know your place as a woman."

Kagome stayed where she was, "Oh, then I should just act stupid and meek?"

"No, but what happiness will you ever get in this life, Kagome, if you continue to struggle as you are?"

"At least I can go to bed proud of myself. Is life worth living if one does not work for it?" Kagome looked up at the sky as she talked.

"You want too much. I tell you, it will only bring you heartache." Kikyo stood. Both women where dressed in miko robes. While the robes showed no difference, there was a difference in the two's abilities. Kikyo was a fully trained miko, she was advanced in her strength and abilities. Kagome herself was still a novice.

"Lady Kikyo, do you believe what you say?"

"Kagome, unlike you, I understand my place and my duty in this world. I will honor my family."

Kagome was fuming now. "And I don't honor mine? I don't get it Kikyo. My father trained me for more, for better."

"Then he was wrong to fill you head with such notions." Kikyo walked over to the shrine. Kagome wanted to say more but she knew where it would go and that was nowhere. Kikyo and Kagome were two opposites. Kikyo was bound by duty and responsibility. Even if she wanted more in life she would never show it. On the other hand, Kagome could never accept anything for what it was. While she had honor, she didn't believe in the rules that men had placed upon women.

News had spread about the young Lord Inuyasha's army coming to the shiro as a defense force. To Kagome, that meant news she could get the lord's ear. He was the younger brother of the Western Lord, if she talked enough maybe, just maybe, she could convince him that they should not let Naraku have her land.

Kagome had been left where she was standing. Looking up, she saw Kikyo already deep into mediation and Sango was going through her own exercises. Kagome would never understand either. Kikyo trained so hard to be a miko, yet she would be fine giving it up if her father so chose. Then there was Sango, a woman trained by her father to be a supreme fighter. Sango had already told Kagome though she trained hard she would give it up some day. She would marry and have children. Kagome could not understand why, if you plan on becoming nothing more than a wife one day, bother? She would never be that, Kagome confessed to herself.

She moved over to the bench, while Sango and Kikyo practiced. Kagome had brought out a book on war strategies. From the moment, her brother had given up but Kagome had promised she would get her revenge even if she had to do it alone.

Before Kagome could lose herself completely, she heard light footfalls coming towards her. Bringing her head up, she saw her aunt approaching.. Kagome stood placing the book on the bench and polity bowed. Since coming to her uncle's home, this was the first time she had seen her.

"Lady Akiko, how pleasant to see you." Kagome stood back up from her bow and looked to her aunt. The Lady was a beauty in a very refined way. She carried herself with grace. Akiko's hair was done up high in a tight bun and she wore the finely hand crafted silken kimonos of a lady of her standing.

"Mother." Kikyo rushed over from her meditative position. "What are you doing out?" Kikyo was clearly concerned for her mother. The Lady had miscarried a day before Kagome's arrival and had almost lost her own life.

The Lady Akiko placed her hand up to calm her daughter. "I'm fine, Dear. Go back to mediating. I wish to speak with Kagome." Kikyo was still clearly worried and did not wish to step away from her mother's side. The Lady stepped towards Kagome, "Walk with me, Dear."

Kagome nodded her head and followed.

They walked though the gardens leaving Kikyo and Sango behind.

"What is it you wish to speak to me about, Lady Akiko?"

Akiko smiled at Kagome, "Forgive Kikyo, I made a mistake when raising her. She thinks more of duty than her own self."

"My Lady, I would not say that. She is a fine lady." Kagome would not say something against the Lady Akiko's daughter.

"So kind Kagome, but I am not deaf. I heard the both of you." The lady made her way towards a wall and staircase and started to climb. "Kikyo is too bound by duty, plus she strives too much to please her father, so she denies herself." The lady shook her head. When they reached the top, Kagome saw that this was only a wall that separated the private gardens of the lady and her children from the training courts. From her vantage point, Kagome could see her brother and the strain and fatigue he was in.

Akiko looked at Kagome, "He has trained every day, my husband has said, since your arrival."

Shaking her head, Kagome grit her teeth and utter under her breath, "For what? He gave up on our home."

"You make it sound as though it was easy for him."

Kagome's hands were clenched into fists. "They didn't even try."

"Didn't they?"

Kagome's anger was boiling up. "They just assumed. They..."

"Did what had to be done, for the moment. I know you have studied. I see you studying now. Kagome set your own passion aside and debate clearly the best decision?"

Kagome didn't want to think about this anymore. "Why is everyone trying to convince me I am wrong?"

"I apologize, Dear, I just worry for you. I heard you have yet to speak to your brother since that day. I want you to see that your brother has not just abandoned his duty. You have only left him."

Kagome nodded her head. While she would not agree with Sota, she could not abandon him either. He was young and he had made the decision he believed to be right, and keep not only her but others safe.

"Thank you, Lady Akiko. I just..."

"You worry for him."

Kagome nodded her head. Without land, Sota was looking forward to life as nothing but a soldier. He could make rank as high as general but he would always be tied to an army. Even if he was made a vassal, he was tied to army life. It would be his only choice in life to keep fighting.

"Do not worry for him, Dear."

"I wish I could not but, Lady, I don't want a military life for him."

"Is there something wrong with the military?"

"No. No. It's just..."

"I understand, Kagome. He was born to be more but he could have still chosen a military career."

"But it would have been his choice not his only option."

The lady shook her head, "I tell you, do not worry for him and also for yourself. The Lord Hayato has taken young Sota as his heir."

Kagome looked to her aunt in surprise. "Why?"

"Kagome, I know all have heard what happened to me, but they haven't heard that I can no longer carry a child. I have produced no son. The Lord Hayato while he want his own blood to take over and he his fine with his brother's. Sota still carries the blood of the family in him."

"If the Lord wants his own blood to rule, why not Kikyo?"

"She is not fit to rule."

"I don't understand, Lady Akiko."

"It was I who even suggested Sota. Kikyo has no passion. While she will run a house one day, and defend it, she will never be able to rule. My daughter will not even be upset that Sota was chosen over her."

"Lady Kikyo should be, while Sota is family he..."

Akiko cut her off. "I know Dear, but that is how you think not my daughter."

"And what of Kaede?"

"She is too young to tell, but she looks up to her sister too much." The Lady Akiko turned to walk more across the wall. "Kagome, please I hope a little of your spirit rubs off on my daughter, with that I also wish for you to learn from Kikyo as well."

Kagome followed behind, "I will try."

The two continued to walk. Kagome could see the fatigue in her aunt's strides. Her aunt stopped and breathed in deeply. She was exhausted as she muttered, "You have to forgive me, dear Kagome. I must retire."

Kagome bowed as her aunt left to go to her own chambers. Kagome headed back to the gardens. She found Kikyo and Sango much as she had left them. The talk with her aunt had force Kagome to look at events differently. In Kagome's heart she still believed her uncle and brother where wrong and she still was going to get back at Naraku, but her anger was more tempered.

Sango was about to talk with her when Mai came running towards them.

"Lady Kagome, come quickly!"

Kagome turned. Mai was clearly in distress. "Mai, explain."

Mai went to catch her breath "Someone else has survived."

Kagome grabbed Mai by the shoulders, "Who?"

"A little, fox kit."

Kagome's eyes widened and she looked to Sango. In unison the both of them knew.

"Shippo." Sango whispered under her breath.

"Mai, take me to him." Kagome couldn't believe it. She was sure everyone was dead. Mai turned back with Kagome and Sango on her heels. They rushed down to the infirmary of the shiro. Mai took them to a room where on a bed lay a bloody and burned fox kit. It was Shippo. Kagome had always looked at the fox kit as a second little brother. Shippo's father was the captain of the guard, and the little kit had always followed Kagome or Sota around. Shippo was always trying to be there faithful guard, boasting how he would protect them both to his death.

Sota was knelt beside the bed staring at the kit. Kagome rushed kneel beside her brother taking her own place at the kit's side.

"He so dirty!" Tears ran down Kagome's face. It was all flooding back to her what Naraku had done. One of the healers brought over a basin of water and went to clean the kit. Kagome took the rag from the healer and began to wash the dirt off him.

"Kagome." She turned her head to her brother to acknowledge him, "Before he passed out he told me he was able to hide until the attack was over. He knew if we lived we would go north. So..."

"He's been traveling ever since,"

Sota nodded his head. Under his breath, barely audible to anyone but Kagome, Sota hissed, "That bastard will pay for this."


	6. Healing

I don't own anything belonging to Inuyasha. Thanks mle for your great work as a beta you make this all possible. I would ask everyone to please review, if you review I can do my happy happy joy joy dance .

Kagome did not leave the little kit's side . After the healers had done what they could, Kagome had taken him to her chambers to rest. He was plagued by nightmares that Kagome was unable to wake him from. Kagome knew what she had witnessed had been terrifying but she had escaped the most brutal of the attacks. Shippo had seen it all.

She wiped the sweat from his brow.

"Tough, little kit to make it this far."

Kagome turned. An old miko had walked into the room. Kagome stood and bowed with great respect. The miko was the oldest living member of her family and was greatly respected by all. "Good morning, Grandmother Kaede." She watched the miko move towards Shippo.

"He does not sleep well, does he?"

"No, Grandmother, and he does not wake either. His wounds were not great but they were not tended to, nor did he rest or eat. I worry for him. I can only get him to sip some broth and even then he chokes." Kagome's brows where furrowed as she thought of his state.

"You have not tried to heal him?" She looked back at Kagome who shook her head. "Why? Your powers are strong. I can sense so."

"I'm not fully trained." Kagome moved back to her place beside Shippo, taking a cloth once again to wipe his head.

"And you let that stop you?"

"I do not wish to do him harm." Kagome shook her head as she spoke.

"Yet you let him lie in suffering."

"Grandmother, Shippo is a yokai. I could purify him." Kagome voice was high pitched. She was truly afraid of hurting her friend.

"Do you believe so, Kagome? To purify him you tear the spiritual powers apart destroying the essence of the yokai, but to heal is that not the opposite?" Kaede's voice was clam and clear as she explained this to Kagome.

Kagome was silent for a second before she replied, "If I can't tell the difference…"

Kaede cut her off, "Do you, Kagome, find it funny the healers let him go so easily?"

Kagome jumped as the realization of Kaede's words fully came to her. The healers had given her no instruction. Actually, their words had been he should be comfortable. Her focus turned back to the kit. "Grandmother, I can't. I am not skilled enough." She shook her head, "Could you not help," and then she paused a second, "or Kikyo?"

The old miko, Kaede, shook her head, "And what would you do if neither of us where around?"

Kagome did not know what to do. She was only marginally trained in her abilities, and if she lost Shippo she would never forgive herself. Before she had a chance to speak Kaede spoke again. "Everyone must succeed and fail to learn, Kagome. I have and Kikyo has. You must learn. You wrestle so violently for what you believe. Yet you are willing to give up on this kit fully from fear of failing. Kagome, what did you do when you where attacked?" Kaede sat back in a chair her hand resting in her lap. She kept a cool smooth tone with Kagome.

What had she done? She had gotten Sota out. "I saved Sota!"

"Oh? And how many more could you have saved if you had some command on your powers? Maybe you would have sensed this little kit before you left."

Kagome wanted to scream but found herself with a lack of words. Kaede was correct. While she could manage a few holy arrows and a little purifying ability most of her powers lay untrained and untapped. She had always been more interested in something else, either in the study of war, a story, or anything. Miko training to her never seemed all that important, it wasn't as if she was going to go out and do the duties of a miko.

"Besides that, I will not do it for you and you will have to wait if you truly wish not to try. Kikyo is in the village."

"Lady Kikyo is in the village?" Kagome's voice was more of surprise than of a question.

"Aye, how else would she use that which she has trained for?"

Kagome shook her head. So Kikyo, who she had seen thus far as a stuck up pain in her ass, worked in the village as a miko.

"Grandmother Kaede, I am not sure what to do." She looked at Shippo as she spoke her words came out barely a whisper.

"Kagome can you sense it? Focus on him, on life, on the web of energy that holds life together."

Pulling herself deep into her senses she found that place that was her energy and then sensed for Shippo's. It was so weak and it was running wrong as she compared it to her own. Yes, there was the fact he was yokai but this was more. This was the life energy that was within all beings. While hers flowed constantly forward, his seemed to be running backwards. As she lost herself more in the energy that was hers and Shippo's; pulling deeper, she found the problem within Shippo. What had been at first a wrong flow became a bleeder. Kagome was seeing all the wounds, all the cuts and bruises, and the infection that ran though his blood. She did not see it in the physical from but in that of energy. Shippo's energy ran in a shade of light blue, while that of his injuries where in shades of dark colors. It burned at Kagome, it felt like a poison that distorted everything it touched. Kagome wanted to pull back but knew she couldn't or she would fail Shippo.

Not sure what she was doing, Kagome allowed a bit of her energy to flow towards Shippo. Kagome controlled it like the violent purple that flowed from her when she used her powers for purifying. This was her own natural color, that of a more blue-violet light. In that was mixed her purifying powers that she used to attack the infection. Kagome pulled back when she felt it attacking Shippo and refocused on the infection. When she believed she had gotten the infection, she turned to the wounds. She wasn't sure what to do. Finally, she just allowed her instincts to take control. Working, she wove her own energy into Shippo encouraging him to heal. By the time she had done this Kagome was drained and she didn't know how much more she could do.

Opening her eyes she looked to Kaede for some kind of reassurance. Kaede simply nodded her head before speaking. "No more can be done. It is now simply an issue of time. Well done, in time this will not drain you as much."

Kagome's throat was dry and her body was drained.

Kaede then spoke again. "He should rest well for now. Kagome, come with me and we shall pick herbs for both yourself and the kit. Unless you know which herbs are needed, then I shall remain with the kit."

Kagome shook her head, if her ability with her powers where limited her knowledge of medicine and herbs where all but nonexistent. "I only wish to get a servant to sit with him, Grandmother, before leaving."

Kaede nodded, "Quickly then child and I will meet you in the gardens."

Kagome did not know how quickly she could go. Her body did want to respond. Finding a servant she instructed him to find Mai. Over her time with Mai she found the girl to be quite trustworthy.

Mai entered the room and bowed to her lady. She had come to like the lady and was quite happy to serve her when needed. "You called for me, Lady Kagome."

"Yes, I will be in Grandmother Kaede's gardens, I need you to stay here with Shippo. Should he wake or should he get worse send for me immediately. Do not leave him if you can and send someone else." Kagome stood from her spot beside Shippo and left him in the care of Mai.

Kagome moved down the halls, none of her strength had truly returned and she willed herself to keep walking. How could healing one so small as Shippo drain her so much? The answer was quite simple and she knew it all went back to her lack of training. Finally, she made it to the gardens that belonged to Kaede. All around her where plants and herbs, Kagome knew a few of the basics but that was it. In the center of the garden was a small hut that looked better placed in a rural village than in a shiro. Grandmother was very true to her ways and while she had all that the shiro could supply her, she preferred that of a simple life.

While Kagome was looking around she didn't notice Grandmother coming up to her, "Drink this, child."  
>Kagome jumped and looked down, bowing as she took the cup from Kaede. Bringing to her lips, she took at sip. As soon as it hit her tongue she wanted to spit it back out, but out of respect she swallowed.<p>

"Bitter, child?" Kaede was smiling at her.

"Just slightly." Kagome coughed.

"Well, drink it up. It will restore you. Come over here and sit before we get to work."

Kagome followed her over to a couple of benches. Once sitting, Kagome forced another part of the nasty liquid down.

"Tell me, why have you not harnessed your gift?"

Kagome was confused for a second, then bringing her thoughts back together she answered. "I just have never seen the point in training for something I could lose one day or give up one day."

Kaede nodded her head. "What makes you believe, child, that you would have to give it up?"

"Grandmother, do not miko have to be pure? Look at yourself. You never took anyone."

Kaede just laughed. "Yes, being pure has to do with being a miko. But purity has so many meanings, and it has been twisted."

Kagome caught the lump in her throat, "But why are no mikos I've seen married?"

"Because most choose it that way. Look a life of a miko gives many women opportunities that they might not ever have; and even if one would lose her powers, are not the other abilities worth the training? The skills? Besides once one finds the energy of the spirit world, how could one lose that path completely?"

Kagome was in shock. "I have much to learn, do I not?"

Grandmother simply nodded, "Come, child, we start today.

Kagome spent the rest of the day with Kaede. At one point Kikyo came by. Sango had come to, as she had accompanied Kikyo to the village but excused herself so she could practice her training and also groom Kirara who had gotten herself into some thistles. Kagome felt so out of place among those two. Soon Kagome and Kikyo were left alone.

Kagome had to break the silence. "Lady Kikyo?"

Before Kagome could say another word Kikyo interrupted her, "Cousin, please while we are out here just call me Kikyo. To tell you the truth I am sick of hearing formalities." Kikyo gave a smile. At first it looked unnatural on Kikyo and then it seemed to fit her.

Kagome laughed.

"What is so funny, Kagome?" The smile was quickly gone, replaced by the arch of her brows and a scowl that Kagome was scared of.

Kagome raised her hand shaking it off. "It is just not like you at all. You're always so uptight and formal."

"Can't I be allowed to rest and be myself?" Kikyo seemed to relax again and return to her task of picking herbs.

"Point taken. I have a question for you."

"And that would be?" Kikyo did not look to Kagome as she answered her matter-of-factly.

Kagome paused before asking, "Why do you go to the village?"

Kikyo looked ahead towards the sky as she was speaking, "What good would my training be in here? Yes, there is a soldier or two that might get hurt training, but Grandmother can handle them. I did not become a miko to waste it. I have duties and responsibilities to both my family and the Kamis that have given me this gift."

"I see, Kikyo." It felt weird not adding the Lady, but Kagome knew herself that it became tiresome to hear it all the time. Maybe there was more to Kikyo then Kagome had cared to see at first. Before she had a chance to say more Kikyo had left and Kagome was alone with her thoughts.

Why had she not trained, not only in her miko abilities but in her fighting? Kagome loved books. Loved the study of war but what would happen if she ever needed to lead? Instead of running, what if she had taken control? Could she have changed the outcome? She knew what she needed to do and she walked back to where Kikyo was with Grandmother Kaede.

"Kikyo, I must ask you to release me as your lady."

"Why should I?" Kikyo questioned her with a look as well as her words.

"Kikyo, I need to train not only as a miko but as a fighter."

"You are a lady and you still wish to fight?" Standing to meet her cousin face-to-face Kikyo needed an answer.

"Hai Kikyo. Would I be me if I did not want to? " Kagome gave a half smile.

"You know as well as I that it will be Father's decision."

"Yeah, well if you're not asking for me to stay it might be easier."

Kikyo nodded, in that second she saw something in Kagome she wanted. Kagome was not tied down with duty as Kikyo was. She was free. "I will not stop you."

Kagome nodded and excused herself. She was going to check on Shippo and then find her uncle.

She only hoped she was making the right decision.


End file.
